Hey, what do I know?

Greta.

A 16-year-old gets major international media attention. Kanye, Michael Jackson Tay Tay type media attention! She somehow addressed Davos, the European Union, sailed across the ocean, addressed the US Congress and the UN, then met with civic leaders and our Prime Minister.

<Insert sound of tires screeching!> Stop! Hold on just a damn minute.

I don’t know anything, but I do know to get that type of attention the following is probably true:

1 – You have three heads, just cured cancer, won a Nobel, a Pulitzer, and an Academy Award in the same week along with The Masters the US Open and married Kanye West – and even with all those you probably would not get the media attention Greta did. As quick as she did and as thorough as she did. Why? Because no one before her, let alone a 16-year-old with no credentials has ever done it.

2 – To get that type of media attention you must have a huge machine behind you. And by machine, I mean mucho dinero. And by mucho dinero, I mean more money than God!

She allegedly has a PR guru Ingmar Rentzhog. But even a PR Guru needs money. She gets a film made arranges a sail across the ocean .. travel hotels, meal expenses and on and on and so on and so forth. That in itself is more money than an ordinary, as she is billed, 16-year-old has let alone be able to rent a hotel without a credit card… at 16!

No PR Guru does this on spec. There is more to this than meets the eye. Or Greta is smarter than anyone that ever lived and/or richer and has more Klout than say, George Soros. (Sorry, Did I say that?)

Lemme splain!

Try this … just for shits and giggles, call up a random large company – hell, make it your bank and tell them you want to speak with … nay, meet with the President and Chairman tomorrow.

1 – You would be lucky to speak to a real person calling your own bank. That would then involve several left messages and “Press 1 for la de da Press 3 for la de da etc and if someone ever did get back to you …

2 – Your request would be denied. Full stop. “Who da fuck do you think you are?”

3 – If you did get a meeting it would be in 3 – 4 weeks at the very least and probably canceled before that

4 – And, If you did get the meeting it would be the shortest 2 minutes of your life. “You want what?” “Get out!”

Now, if you happen to be worth $20 billion, or your name rhymes with Aga Khan, and there is the slightest possibility of some of your moolah falling off the top of your dresser into their bank … well, they would have already been calling you, wouldn’t they? And the idea of calling your bank is moot! Or, if you are someone with Klout – and by Klout, I mean the Sonia Bata* type Klout where she could pick up the phone, call Prince Charles and demand he does something immediately … Klout – then they are in a constant state of salivating waiting for your call. Or they have set up a banking office at your place of business. I call that “acolyte banking.” (When I was running BBDO we set up an office at Chrysler in Windsor. “Acolyte Advertising” at its best!)

*Yep, she could! I worked with her. God, I loved that woman!

For this young girl to accomplish anything on her own involving more than doing a shitty, badly spelled, bristol-board-poster for show and tell day – especially of this magnitude – is impossible – folks it involves Klout of immense proportion.

Who’s? I don’t know, I don’t care and I care not to guess but I will bet dollars to dog biscuits that there were some pretty powerful phone calls made. And not by Little-Old Greta.

Here is another example to demonstrate where I am coming from. When I was in the business – a Creative guy who could sell – I had two tricks.

1 – Golf. 4 hours of undivided attention with your best client. (Always let him/her win.) If they golf they will always say yes to a lovely round at your private club avec service and primping and a fine meal. Trying to remember a golf date that did not end up in more business? No, it never did!

2 – If I was wooing a client I would always try and arrange a dinner with him and make sure I invited his best customer along and let them know who would be there. Funny how the potential client always showed up! And trying to remember if that ever failed? No, it did not!

One thing I do have an abundance of is common sense and for all my life “If something seems too good to be true it probably is.” Or, “if something just seems weird … it is.”

Truth is something I have valued all my life and anytime I have been a party to “truth: or heard the absolute “truth” it has been not only enlightening but life-changing.

That is how fucking rare the truth is! And in the Greta story, I think the truth is not in plain sight!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *